LA is not one college town — it is every college town stacked on top of each other with valet parking. Saturdays here belong to alumni chapters, transplant loyalties, Rose Bowl nostalgia, SEC volume, Big Ten logistics, and the friend who just wants a bar with eight games on.

The trick is knowing which rooms are officially claimed and which ones are big-tent catch-alls. Official alumni status is the differentiator where the report has it; live chapter calendars can still move, so call ahead before building the whole Saturday around one fight song.